Tomorrow is the trip to the doctor and I have a laundry list of things I would like to talk about. When they called this morning to confirm my appointment I asked if they had received the letter about my meds and found they were working on it as we were speaking.
Since my wife is off tomorrow she is going to come with me and after the appointment we are going to go grab a sandwich at Panera Bread Co. and grab some of their Asiago bagels and Rosemary & Onion Foccacia bread for home. If you have not had their bagels they are much better then Einstein Bros. Bagels which was formerly known as Bagel & Bagel. However they both can be a bit pricey for a lunch sandwich so I would suggest just buying the bagels and making your own.
My oldest is starting to play mind games and is learning that it is going to cost him big time. They were given their report cards last Wednesday, before the Easter recess but seeing that he never brings any of the papers home we never know what is going on. It has gotten that his teachers and I email each other daily for assignments and upcoming events. Somehow the report card issue was lost in the back of my mind and he took full advantage of that by not giving it to me until yesterday. His grades were horrible, even after all the help we have been giving him he is still not doing his school work. Worst of all he will not sit and be quiet in the classroom.
I got an email this morning from his teacher about his not bringing the report card back so I replied that I had just received it yesterday and she would need to give me a day to go over it with my wife. She quickly replied letting me know they went home a week ago. Arrrrrgh!
Of course after seeing his grades I know exactly why he did not give it to me on Wednesday. He would have spent the entire Easter recess in his room grounded. I was calm about it when he got home, let him know that he had messed up and why he did it and that since he decided to lie about it to avoid being grounded that his punishment was going to be that much worse. So for the next several weeks he will come home from school, no friends over, no outside. When homework is done he will take his shower and find a book to read, which will be approved by myself or my wife and he will read until dinner. When dinner is done he will read for 45 minutes and then it is lights out.
It is frustrating because we sacrificed a ton for him to go to this school and he just does not seem to get it. The public school system here has steadily gone down hill and they did away with the special ed program meaning all students were in one room together and the class was moving the pace of the slowest learner. I spent time as a parent in the classroom helping the teachers but by the end of the year they were well behind where the state required them to be. This meant they fell in to the no child left behind program and have not been able to get themselves out of it.
Being that we are Catholic we figured we could get him in to Catholic school, be taught not only about our religion but have a smaller class and be with students who care about learning. I guess we were wrong and have told him that if he does not pull all his grades up on this last quarter that he will be heading back to public school.
Now it is all up to him so we will see how he does.
2 comments:
you know, even tho' your son is testing his boundaries, it is really terrific to have your kids as a focus ... you guys seem to be such good hands on parents ... i really admire that!
AND so glad that your wife will get a chance to go in with you ... sometimes with these doctors, 2 heads really are better than one ... and would you believe that if need be, i am the "bad cop" at the doctors ... ? ... yup!
we make lists too ... only way we remember all the questions that we have!
We try to be there for the kids 110% and as you said I am sure he is testing boundaries. He is going to be 12 soon which means puberty is upon us and adding some fuel to the fire. We try to be as hands on as possible without interfering with him. We are hopefully setting it up so that when the time comes, if it comes, that when he needs to be candid with us he is not going to be afraid to tell us whatever it might be. That our reactions will be level headed and our attitudes will be that of trying to help rather then punish, although if the situation warrants there will be some form of punishment. It is a fine line.
My parents were somewhat similar in their approach with me and it worked. One thing they always told me was that no matter what was happening, what time it was, if I needed them to come get me because someone had been drinking then they would, no questions asked that evening.
That time actually came in my senior year when we were at a party. We had beer and our driver had way to much to drink. Rather then risk that ride I called my parents at like 2am to come and get me 30 miles from home. Just like they promised, they drove out to get me and did not ask me anything about it until the next day. Even then they did not yell at me but rather let me know they were dissappointed I had been careless (letting the driver drink) but they were also proud of me for having the courage to tell my friend no and call them instead.
While I would prefer my son not to be drinking I understand that I cannot be there 24/7. I want them to know that we are there for them if they need help.
As for the doctor...
I always try to get my wife to come in with me for at least 50% of the visits and she is like you, bad cop when she needs to be. My doctor I saw today though is a great doc when it comes to the pain.
Last time I saw him I talked him out of some of the pain meds he wanted to prescribe as well as the dosage for another. I was wrong and ended up running out of my breakthrough meds so today I told him that and he chuckled as he wrote me a new prescription for it, upping the quantity so I would not run out this time.
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