I am looking forward to seeing the pain doctor next week. After reading up on him and what he has specialized in for the last 20 years it seems like he is the doctor I may have been looking for. While I have been to a few pain management doctors in the last few years it is apparent that they all have their opinions on what will relieve pain.

One thing I have decided and my wife agrees with me on is that there are no more epidurals and o surgery unless it is absolutely needed to prevent something like paralysis or cauda equina. Other then that I am wide open to oral steroids and opioids. I understand that some people look down on the long term use of opioids but they generally have never been in severe pain let alone chronic severe pain.

I was talking to my mother the other day and after explaining many times about my condition as well as sending her and the rest of my family tons of reading material it seems like they just do not get it.

I have explained ad nauseum that there is no cure for arachnoiditis and that all I am looking for is a method of pain management that will allow me to some quality of life. I have also told them that I do not believe in homeopathic remedies, herbal healing, acupuncture or chiropractors. It seems though that no matter how many times I tell them this they do not want to hear it.

My conversation with my mother consisted of her telling me about one of her friends who is going to pain management where they use prolotherapy which is not at all helpful to me. As I was trying to explain this to my mother she decided to be an ass and just hung up on me. It pissed me off very much as I cannot stand it when people act like that, like their opinion is the only one that matters or that I do not know what I am talking about. She tried to tell me later that I refuse to listen to anyone when it comes to my back yet it was not like that at all. I listened to her and then tried to explain that not only have I looked in to some of the methods she mentioned I had tried some of them without success. It was then that she hung up in a tiff.

I called her back and let her know that hanging up on me is not the way to show someone you care about them and that I have investigated much more then she has when it comes to my conditions. She did apologize but continued on with the babble about other remedies. I think she was just having a bad day as she is usually not like that at all.

They just do not seem to understand that arachnoiditis is not something that will go away. They also do not seem to understand that I do not buy in to the theories they do such as chiropratics, I just do not believe them to work. Both my father and my sister see a chiropracter and while they swear it works I just do not buy it. I refuse to allow someone to start twisting and pulling my body and joints, especially after having fusion and hardware installed. Just what I need, some crackpot breaking a screw or rod or worse the area where the fusion has taken.

I do not think I can even relay the frustration that I have with them when they refuse to listen. That because my sister has a PhD in psychology that I am not smart enough to decide for myself what the best course of action is or that they ask me what the latest news is and I start to tell them they either change the subject or act like they don't care.

I love my family very much and we have always been very close. However this is something that is starting to drive a stake between us and I do not like that. I try to avoid the subject all together when I am at their house but sooner or later it is time for me to either take my meds or sit and relax for a bit, and then my mother will make a comment.

I understand that they care about me and that is why they harp me like they do but I would love for it for a minute if they would just either listen to me or leave it be. The time would be less tense if we could just have a few hours together without mentioning my back.