7/08/2005

Wannabe gangbangers...

While getting out of the car at the store this morning I noticed 3 "kids" (14-16ish) walking through the parking lot. All of them were wearing the same thing, long baggy shorts and oversized shirts and all the same color, red. Now small town USA is not someplace you typically find gang members sporting colors. They do exist but with the colors they stand out like a sore thumb. My guess is these geniuses did not get that memo however because the were acting like they owned the place.

So as I am heading towards the store I realize they are shadowing me and as I cross the lot and get between the row of cars they stop at a Jeep with a guy inside of it. Now it is obvious the guy is in the military but they proceed to ask him all sorts of stupid questions and I can see he is aggravated. He is sitting in the Jeep, it has no top or windows so if they decide to be stupid he is screwed and as I am thinking this to myself his eyes and mine met and I just stopped for a second. I am sure he got the message that while I did not know him I was not going to stand idly by. That is when they looked over towards me as well and realizing that they were no longer alone they started to back off the guy a bit. By now half the parking lot must have stopped (very big busy store) and was staring at the schumucks.

Figuring they were done and with the guy backing out of the lot I headed into the store. Of course now my mind is wandering and checking in the windows to see how far behind me they are. When I hit the main doors they were about 10 meters behind me so I cut a quick left through the register area and then out the other side by the pharmacy and as I turn back down the aisle they are standing there and looking like they were trying to figure out where I went. Of course I continued to the back of the store, grabbed what I was there for and bailed out the garden center register which leads into the parking lot. Stupid punks...Hahahaha I figure they were still standing around scratching their heads trying to figure out how the hell the crippled guy disappeared so quickly.

The lot of this store is poorly planned on entrance/exit and you basically have to go out the same way you came in which is right in front of the doors. As I drive past the doors I see them coming out the front and they are just standing there looking like a bunch of dumbasses. Then the funniest thing I have seen in a long time happens. The cops show up and these idiots bolt. No, they do not run the opposite way instead they run right past the cops because remember, this parking lot sucks. It is surrounded by walls on 2 of the 4 sides and that 3 side is a good 200-250 meters the other way. Nope, they tried to beat the cops to the exit by running RIGHT PAST the cops. LMAO! Not sure what they got tagged for but our local paper publishes the police blotter each week so I will have to read it tomorrow and see.

Now there are a few lessons here. The first one is "Life is tough. It's tougher if your stupid." The second is that when you are living in a small town, don't wear your colors. You stand out like a sore thumb and the last is that just because someone looks incapable of taking care of themselves it does not mean anything. Enjoy your evening in the JDC.

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