Well it was to cold to take the boys to the parade so we did not get to go. It got pretty cool and then right before we were going to head out the wind picked up and then temp dropped below 40. Not to cold but enough that without having flu shots for the baby I was not going to have him out for that long. We spent the day around the house and watched some movies.

Tonight they had a special on HBO called Last Letters Home. It was last letters from soldiers who were killed in Iraq. Very tastefully done but very somber. It was difficult to watch, especially when they got to the last letter from a husband who never got to see his son born.

During the first Gulf War I was stationed at Fort Irwin and was training the troops deploying to Kuwait. I had a good friend whose father was killed when his vehicle hit a landmine and another friend who was killed in action when his helicopter was shot down. I live back in that town and every now and then I see his mom & dad at Church or I see his wife in the grocery store. They had a memorial garden for him outside on of the parish churches, but when the church burned down it was decided that it would not be rebuilt and the garden was not moved.

I come from a family of veterans. In fact I was born on an Army base, as was my son. My father is retired from the Army and my brother and I both served on active duty and in the national guard/reserves. I hate that my back is the only thing that keeps me from being able to go back on active duty. Hell, I would settle for a national guard unit as they are deploying left and right. I have called the recruiters and gotten all the "no's" they can dish out, I even thought about not telling them about the surgery but the scar would be difficult to hide during the physical. I feel like I have let my brothers down by not being there with them. I know it has been ten years since I wore a uniform, but the fire still burns deep down inside.