I may be switching domains for a bit in the next few days so if you are trying to reach me and I am not here I will be at http://ihavearachoiditis.blogspot.com. It will be temporary while I look at switching hosts. My financial situation as some of you know has changed and I am having a tough time deciding on spending the money to renew for 6 months or just go with the free service. I know it is only $35 for the 6 months but that is a pair of sneakers for the boys right now.

Ketchup anyone?

My son decided that he wanted to wear his dinner this evening. Of course he picked the night where he had both a ramekin of ketchup for his burger (he will not eat it with it on the bun, he has to dip it) and a Jello pudding cup for desert. Mixed together they make a nice "black" tar like substance that would hold together even the tallest pompadour. Of course I underestimated the number of wipes I would need for the task and had to leave the table twice to get more and each time I came back there seemed to be more Jello and Ketchup then when I left just 3 seconds ago. Since it is just the 2 of us this evening there was no asking for someone to give me a hand in the process and it took me a good 4 minutes to finally have him clean enough to just get down from the table. Guess it is time to go dunk him into a bubble bath as no matter how clean you get them after a ketchup bath they still smell like it, bleeech.....

A quiet relaxing day at home. While I had trouble sleeping again last night I was able to at least get 4 hours in before I found myself wide awake and heading downstairs for the recliner. I think I have figured it out though and the problem is that I am just not comfortable in the bed any longer.

Lying flat on my back or on the side turns out to be painful rather quickly and I end up having to toss and turn to adjust myself. Sometimes the adjusting can take some time to find the exact spot where there is as little pain as possible or at least as little as I can tolerate and still sleep. However when I am in the recliner I can sleep somewhat comfortably for longer then in the bed. No I figure this means I need to buy a Craftmatic bed for a few thousand dollars or perhaps spend another $300 on a second recliner and move it to the bedroom. Let's see what happens with the disability determination. Hopefully sometime in the next week or so we will have that answer.

The pain level today is bearable, if that is possible. Some numbness and tingling but no real burning sensation in about a day which is always nice. I have been feeling somewhat bloated though and that is most likely caused by the Senokot I have had to start taking again. One of the side effects of long term opioid use is constipation and the meds I am on it seems to be the biggest side effect. I drink plenty of water but it is little help with this stuff and if you do not take something like senokot you can end up with a case of hemorrhoids.

I know, it is not something you would typically think would happen but it is a very real problem. I learned the hard way last time and did not take anything when I thought I might be on the road to constipation and once you get to a certain point it takes some time to reverse the effects and that waiting period can be very painful. So if you are on long term pain meds and have not had this problem, then you are very fortunate. If you are like me and eating plenty of fiber or taking a fiber supplement and still having some problems I would suggest taking to your pain management doctor about taking something over the counter. Whatever you do though do not just start taking something OTC if you are on other medications, some of them may interfere with each other and in the case of some of the medications, especially heart medications, it can lead to heart attacks or strokes.

Operation Overlord...

Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force!

You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of liberty loving people everywhere march with you. In company with our brave Allies and brothers in arms on other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world.
Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle hardened. He will fight savagely.
But this is the year 1944! Much has happened since the Nazi triumphs of 1940-41. The United Nations have inflicted upon the Germans great defeats, in open battle, man to man. Our air offensive has seriously reduced their strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our Home Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men. The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to Victory!
I have full confidence in your courage and devotion to duty and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full Victory! Good luck! And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.

General Dwight D. Eisenhower
Order of the Day
June 6, 1944

I ask that tonight as you go about your business you reflect back to another time, before many of us were born, and remember all those brave men and women who fought so hard and bravely to free Europe from the clutches of the Third Reich. 61 years ago tonight Operation Neptune kicked off the allied invasion of Europe through Normandy France, Operation Overlord.

My back is done!

The storms that rolled through here last night have left my bones creaking and aching this afternoon. It rained so much last night that we got more rain in a few hours then we normally get in the entire month and now most of the county roads are flooded.

I did not do much today as I was up until 6 this morning. I was waiting for my son to call me when they got to his mothers house and for some reason a trip that generally takes no more then 9 hours took them 11, so rather then 1am they were home close to 4am and after that I was wide awake. I ended up coming downstairs and watching Tora Tora Tora for a bit and finally feel asleep about 7:30 or so in the recliner. Other then that I have not done much of anything.

Sorry, just kind of a hum-drum day without the oldest here.

His summer has begun...

Well they showed up at about 5pm, 4 hours later then they said they would be here. Par for the course though and was almost expected.

They stayed long enough to use the bathroom, load his things and then take off. My son looked like he truly did not want to go as they crossed the street to the car. He must have looked over his shoulder 4 or 5 times in the scant 15 meters, each time taking a longer look.

I have no clue what I am going to do all summer without my son here. I know we do this every summer but as he is growing up he is becoming more interested in many of the things that I too love to do and we get to spend time doing them together. I love to go shooting with my buddies, although money has kept me from doing so recently, but my son has a neat little Ruger 10/22 that we bought for him a few years ago and it is dirt cheap to shoot so we hit some of the free Dept. of Conservation Ranges and let him plink targets. Not only is it fun for him as well as let us spend time together we are able to make sure that he is understanding the safety issues with a firearm. It is something simple but the time we spend on the range together is something that he really enjoys and he is always bugging me to go back and shoot some more.

Right after they took off I fell fast asleep in the recliner waking up at about 8pm to the sound of thunder rolling through the valley. The start of one of the most voracious storms I have been through in some time. It dumped 3"+ of rain before blowing through and spawned a good dozen or so tornadoes across the front. Just when we thought it was all over the roof in the rec room started leaking and not just a drip, a steady stream. So know I will have to call someone to take a look and see where it is coming from.

Some rest and relaxation...

A good night sleep for a change!

I was so frustrated last night that I could not even see straight. I do not lie being like that and am glad the day is over. My lovely wife, who should be Sainted, saved the day when she got home. She has promised to take our son to see Star Wars before he left for Colorado for the summer and had planned on doing so last night. When she got home and saw how fried I was she told me to go instead.

Now I feel bad that she missed the show she has been waiting to see but even just that 2 hours out of the house was wonderful. The theater was almost empty, rare for this movie and a Friday night, but that also meant I did not have to listen to everyone around me explain what was going on or commenting on everything under the sun during the show. I did feel bad though as we only had enough money for the tickets so my son did was not able to get the customary load of crap, popcorn and candy that an 11 year old expects at the movies.

When we left the theater there was a spectacular lighting storm going on and as I was hobbling to the car it started to pour. Of course my son took off running for the car as I continued to hobble my way there. What he did forget is that while he might run to the car, I had the keys to open the doors and you get just as wet standing there waiting for me as you do if you had to walk in the rain. Muwhahahaha...

His mother is supposed to be here this afternoon to pick him up which means that I must have gotten through to her. This was one of the days she claimed she could not make it because as she told me, "I have something else I need to do." She called yesterday to say she changed those plans and will be here this afternoon with her husband to pick him up.

He is all set for his road trip, as this is a 9 hour trip, with his MP3 player and extra batteries, a portable DVD player his grandmother sent him a few years ago and some books to read. He should be good to go and is certainly better off then when my folks used to load my sister, myself and my brother in to the family truckster and haul us across the country as kids.

Back then we did not have AC in the car, or dad just did not use it, we had no portable DVD players, no MP3's although we did have 1 walkman for the 3 of us, and nothing but books and crayons to play with. Being a military brat we spent MANY hours in the back seat of that old Plymouth Volare wagon. The one with the pleather seats which when heated properly by the sun would burn the very skin from your legs and it had absolutely no room for the 3 of us in the back seat. My family is a bunch of amazons if you did not know that, at 6' tall I am the short one so we were like sardines packed into that thing for hours on end. My dad was one of those dads who drove the car from full to empty, there were no stops in between. Of course this was also in the days of "we did not know any better" so every now and then one of us would crawl into the rear cargo area and spread out amongst the luggage.

I should also mention that my wife, who should be Sainted, decided that she would go in to work super early so that she could be home to see our son off for the summer. Normally she would get up at about 04:30 for work on an open day but this morning she left at 1am so that she would be out of there by 1pm or so. I do not know many people who would do something like that but that is what makes her extra special to me and is why I love her so much.

A day from hell...

Well not quite but I can say that we could view hell from the patio today.

This has been a LONGGGGGGG day. We have been cooped up in the house as it has been raining all day long. For those not initiated to the US Plains and the rain we get in the Spring it is not some simple rain shower, they come in and last the entire day making even going out for an hour or so an impossible task.

We top that off this morning with someone who decided that 4am was a good time to get up for the day and since my wife worked the morning shift today that meant Dad was getting up as well. Normally this would not be a problem as we would come down for a cup of juice and perhaps some toast and he is off to lala land again. Not this morning however instead he was wide awake and in rare form.

Instead of going back to sleep he decided to play touchy feely clingy boy who did not want to do anything other then sit in the recliner with me. Now I love it when he climbs in to the chair with me and will sit and watch a show with me but on days like today he wants all the space and if you try to put him down he screams bloody murder. I was in such pain from having him in the chair all day that by noon my meds were not even working.

I did everything to try and get him to nap including taking him to the bedroom (where naps generally occur) but he fought it. I finally just gave in and made him some lunch at 11am. BIG MISTAKE! He would not sit in his chair he eats at so I figured I would let him set up his little chair at the rec room table, he wanted nothing to do with that and instead wanted in the recliner. The issue here is that lunch was PB&J, chips and some chocolate pudding. A normal lunch but this was not a normal day and my nice comfy chair is now soaking in Oxyclean in hopes that the pudding and jelly will eventually come off.

We top this off with the oldest acting like a clown all day long. Being cooped up in the house with the added bonus of his mother coming to town in the morning and he has been bouncing off the walls and not listening to a damn thing. He has been a complete smart ass and came very close to being sent to bed at 3pm. Combine the antics of the both of them and then my wife ended up being a few hours late from work and I was ready to climb a bell tower somewhere.

I know, I am bitching again but that is one of the reasons I started this blog. I have some place to vent at the end of the day when no one else really wants to listen. I am glad that these days are not so often or I would have myself checked in to someplace for the quiet time. Actually days like this are a great reason for me to have the I-Pod. Right now I could escape to another room and just relax with some tunes, some Big Band would go great right now. Just mellow out with the lights dimmed and a magazine (the library sells old magazines for .10¢s so we go over once or twice a month and buy a few we have not read.

Dealing with pain...

I have been reading (again) a book called The War On Pain, which is written by Dr. Scott Fishman and it is an excellent look at how an anesthesiologist views the treatment of pain. In the book he discusses the many aspects of pain management and how he approaches them with his patients so that we might better understand how they work.

He has an excellent section on Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome which in my humble opinion one of the more important issues in the discussion of pain management. Back injuries are easy to claim but very difficult to prove or diagnose in many cases leaving both the patient and the doctor frustrated. Having been in this position at one time I can sympathize with those that have to go through it. While I did not have CRPS the doctors believed that I was telling them I was in more pain then my injuries should be causing. It was not until they actually did surgery and found that the damage was indeed as bad, if not worse then I was telling them and for some reason standard tests were not revealing the cause.

Another issue in dealing with pain is the problem called "pseudo addiction" (which Dr. Fishman also covers) and it is found in chronic pain patients. Pseudo addiction is a case where the patient might exhibit all the symptoms of addiction yet if you actually increase the medication and stop the pain the symptoms go away. This is generally found in the case where a patient is being treated with the wrong medications for the symptoms being exhibited.

In the case of someone suffering from acute pain a doctor might use something like Percocet or Lortab in varying doses according to the pain. These types of meds are designed for short term relief, say several weeks or a few months in duration as opposed to Kadian which is designed for use in chronic pain patients and to be time released and used for long term, in many cases for years.

So why can't they prescribe drugs like lortab long term? It is interesting really and is one of the reasons someone on Lortab may exhibit the signs of "pseudo addiction". The patient starts to become tolerant, as we all know, and over time they will need more to achieve the same results as well the body will also start to metabolize the drugs faster. This might mean taking the medications every 4 hours rather then 6 (as they are not time released) or perhaps even more dangerous self medicating by taking more then the prescribed daily dose. It is a double edged sword for the patient, they need relief but a doctor is going to be reluctant to prescribe any more due to the signs of Pseudo Addiction.

So how do you treat this problem? Simple, you increase the meds or find the meds that will work effectively to treat the pain. When the pain goes away so do the pseudo addiction problems. I know this was the case for me when I was still on Lortab. After several months the medication just did not work for me and to top it off the doctor thought I should be weaned off of it and actually started to decrease my doses.

I know I have covered this before but it is always something I will bring up several times a year, people need to be informed so that they can learn to deal with their doctors and their pain effectively. Yes, doctors went through a lot of schooling to do what they do but in the end only you can tell them the kind of pain, where it is and what seems to be working to make it better. It is all about quality of life in my opinion and too many doctors are worried about other issues making the return to a decent quality of life difficult if not impossible. Getting the doctor past their fears is a major stepping stone and in the end if it proves a more daunting task then it should be then it is time to find another doctor who understands. Of course this is something that should be carefully contemplated, the last thing you would want to look like is someone shopping for a doctor and medications. Then the pseudo-addiction tends to look more like a very real addiction problem.

Getting a doctor to see past the addiction issues, both real and pseudo is an important part in having your pain or even your loved ones treated properly. If you are uncomfortable dealing with this topic with your doctor then I HIGHLY suggest that you buy this book and read the parts pertinent to your issues. They should really help you understand what is going on with you and how to broach those issue so that your doctor can understand what you need. I have listed below a few online resources for purchasing a copy and I make nothing from any of the companies if you purchase from them. I did include a company out of Ireland I believe for those in the UK as I am not sure how shipping from the States might work for you.

Amazon

Books A Million

Gill MacMillan For those in the UK.

A little help earning the I-Pod...

Before I begin this post I wanted to plug my I-Pod one more time. I know it has been up there for some time and I want to thank all the people who have signed up through my referral link. However I am still 2 people shy of earning the I-Pod even though I have had 10 people sign up, only 3 have completed their offers. I know, the links are ubiquitous and everyone wants you to sign up for theirs.

So let me tell you why I would like to have you sign up for mine. I am basically homebound due to my disabilities and I spend a good portion of the day with my toddler and pre-teen sons watching or listening to their shows/music. I do not own a walkman or any other compact music device as my medical bills leave very little money for me to be able to afford the extras like that so that leaves the radio in the living room. However once we have finally gotten the boys down for the evening listening to music is pretty much out of the question lest I wake the boys up from the sound. Having something like an I-Pod would be wonderful. I could put all my CD's onto it and listen with headphones while reading a book or just vegging in the chair and not worry about having to wake the rest of the house while I am relaxing for an hour.

So, if there are 2 kind souls out there who would be willing to sign up for something, say like the Blockbuster online video rental, it would make me a very happy person.

I have had a slight headache for most of the day but it never really got as bad as they normally do. I am hoping that it is because the Inderal is working. If this is as bad as they will get then I am going to be one happy camper. Obviously no headache at all is what I would prefer but this is not so bad. I did take the midrin this evening as I was afraid that trying to get some sleep this evening would be difficult even with just a slight one.

I am feeling fairly good this evening and my wife has 2 days off in a row which is a rare thing indeed. Of course that means when the rain lets up and the satellite dish is working again (they suck in the rain) we can watch the shield. Until that happens the boys are up stair destroying the place, my wife is reading a magazine on the couch next to me and I am obviously wasting time online.

I was trying to play a game called Hapland 2 on Addictinggames.com but it can be somewhat frustrating as you have to figure out the sequence of movements of all the objects to get open the portal and I guess move to another level or win the game. So far I still suck at it.

So after all that crap with my ex-wife and my sons summer visit she finally sent me an email the other day saying they would be here on the 4th.

Well this evening she calls and tries to pull some shit out of her ass. She said that her husband was willing to meet me halfway, tomorrow. Like usual she likes to pull crap like this at the last minute and has no regard for anyone else's plans as long as she gets her way. Like usual she is trying to get everything her way and it does not matter who gets screwed over in the process.

The funny thing is that the other day I told her I refused to discuss this by email and if she wished to talk about it then she would have to call me. So she calls me at 6pm on the night before decides is the one she wants to pick him up. Then she wonders why people have a problem with the way she does things.

Long story short, before the conversation was over my son walked in to the room and told her that he did not want to leave before the 4th. Ironically in an email the other day my former wife told me that the day my son would start making his own decisions was coming and she could not wait. I wonder if she still feels that way tonight?

Memorial Day

I can never quite find the words to express how I feel on Memorial Day but I read something today that I thought summed up some of those feelings and I need to share it with those of you who stop by here.

Subject: WWII Heroes

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WW II MOVIE STARS
Hope you find this as informative as I did, be sure to scroll to the bottom.

In contrast to the ideals, opinions and feelings of today's "Hollywonk" the real actors of yester-year loved the United States.

They had both class and integrity. With the advent of World War II many of our actors went to fight rather than stand and rant against this country we all love.

They gave up their wealth, position and fame to become service men & women, many as simple "enlisted men".

This page lists but a few, but from this group of only 18 men came over 70 medals in honor of their valor, spanning from Bronze Stars, Silver Stars, Distinguish Service Cross', Purple Hearts and one Congressional Medal of Honor.

So remember; while the "Entertainers of 2004" have been in all of the news media lately I would like to remind the people of what the entertainers of 1943 were doing, (61 years ago).

Most of these brave men have since passed on.


Real Hollywood Heros

Alec Guinness (Star Wars) operated a British Royal Navy landing craft on
D-Day.

James Doohan ("Scotty" on Star Trek) landed in Normandy with the U. S.
Army on D-Day.

Donald Pleasance (The Great Escape) really was an R. A. F. pilot who was shot down, held prisoner and tortured by the Germans.

David Niven was a Sandhurst graduate and Lt. Colonel of the British Commandos in Normandy.

James Stewart Entered the Army Air Force as a private and worked his way to the rank of Colonel.

During World War II, Stewart served as a bomber pilot, his service record crediting him with leading more than 20 missions over Germany, and taking part in hundreds of air strikes during his tour of duty.

Stewart earned the Air Medal, the Distinguished Flying Cross, France's Croix de Guerre, and 7 Battle Stars during World War II.

In peace time, Stewart continued to be an active member of the Air Force as a reservist, reaching the rank of Brigadier General before retiring in the late 1950s.

Clark Gable (Mega-Movie Star when war broke out) Although he was beyond the draft age at the time the U.S. entered WW II, Clark Gable enlisted as a private in the AAF on Aug. 12, 1942 at Los Angeles.

He attended the Officers' CandidateSchool at Miami Beach, Fla. and graduated as a second lieutenant on Oct. 28, 1942.

He then attended aerial gunnery school and in Feb. 1943 he was assigned to the 351st Bomb Group at Polebrook where flew operational missions over Europe in B-17s.

Capt. Gable returned to the U.S. in Oct. 1943 and was relieved from active duty as a major on Jun. 12, 1944 at his own request, since he was over-age for combat.

Charlton Heston was an Army Air Corps Sergeant in Kodiak.

Earnest Borgnine was a U. S. Navy Gunners Mate 1935-1945.

Charles Durning was a U. S. Army Ranger at Normandy earning a Silver Star and awarded the Purple Heart.

Charles Bronson was a tail gunner in the Army Air Corps, more specifically on B-29s in the 20th Air Force out of Guam, Tinian, and Saipan.

George C. Scott was a decorated U. S. Marine.

Eddie Albert (Green Acres TV) was awarded a Bronze Star for his heroic action as a U. S. Naval officer aiding Marines at the horrific battle on the island of Tarawa in the Pacific Nov. 1943.

Brian Keith served as a U.S. Marine rear gunner in several actions against the Japanese on Rabal in the Pacific.

Lee Marvin was a U.S. Marine on Saipan during the Marianas campaign when he was wounded earning the Purple Heart.

John Russell: In 1942, he enlisted in the Marine Corps where he received a battlefield commission and was wounded and highly decorated for valor at Guadalcanal.

Robert Ryan was a U. S. Marine who served with the O. S. S. in Yugoslavia.

Tyrone Power (an established movie star when Pearl Harbor was bombed) joined the U.S. Marines, was a pilot flying supplies into, and wounded Marines out of, Iwo Jima and Okinawa.

Audie Murphy, little 5'5" tall 110 pound guy from Texas who played cowboy parts?
Most Decorated serviceman of WWII and earned: Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, 2 Silver Star Medals, Legion of Merit, 2 Bronze Star Medals with "V", 2 Purple Hearts, U.S. Army Outstanding Civilian Service Medal, Good Conduct Medal, 2 Distinguished Unit Emblems, American Campaign Medal, European-African-Middle Eastern Campaign Medal with One Silver Star, Four Bronze Service Stars (representing nine campaigns) and one Bronze Arrowhead (representing assault landing at Sicily and Southern France) World War II Victory Medal Army of Occupation Medal with Germany Clasp, Armed Forces Reserve Medal, Combat Infantry Badge, Marksman Badge with Rifle Bar, Expert Badge with Bayonet Bar, French Fourragere in Colors of the Croix de Guerre, French Legion of Honor, Grade of Chevalier, French Croix de Guerre With Silver Star, French Croix de Guerre with Palm, Medal of Liberated France, Belgian Croix de Guerre 1940 Palm.

So how do you feel the real heroes of the silver screen acted when compared to the hollywonks today who spray out anti-American drivel as they bite the hand that feeds them? Can you imagine these stars of yester-year saying they hate our flag, making anti-war speeches, marching in anti-American parades and saying they hate our president?

I thought not, neither did I!

I feel quite bad this evening. Today we were supposed to head to my parents house for an afternoon of relaxing but last night I was having some problems with spasms and decided I should not drive that far. Normally this would not be a big deal but this is one of those times my medical condition really pisses me off. I called my dad this morning and let him know that I was not comfortable making the drive and he was understanding. I have never had to cancel family plans because of my back but then again I usually have someone to drive me.

Well this evening, right after dinner time my dad called me to check up on how I was doing. Generally when he knows I am not feeling well he will make sure to call me a time or two during the day to make sure I am ok, and I figured this was no different. As soon as I answered the phone though my entire family was on the speaker phone singing Happy Birthday. Ok, yesterday was my little brothers birthday so I joined in thinking this was for him, except it was for both of us.

While my birthday is still a week and change away they had apparently planned this evening as a birthday party for both of us since we are hardly all together at one time any more. While no one told me that was what tonight was for I guess I should have had some clue. They had cake and all the trimmings for us and I blew it.

I am seriously hating this crap and the fact that it is starting to interfere more and more with my life. I understand that I am stuck with it and my wife and I have done our best to make sure it does not affect everyone else, but that apparently is going to pot and that bothers me.

I did go looking at canes this week. I stopped at several Home Health Stores thinking they would have a great selection and they do, if you want to spend $100 or more. Even with my insurance company picking up some of the cost of a cane it can still be expensive and I was left wondering how can I justify spending that kind of money on myself when my sons need shorts and sneakers for the summer. I can still get away with grabbing a cart and using that in the stores for now and then we were in CVS yesterday. Back by the pharmacy counter they had a row of canes and while some of them were expensive, they were not as bad as the specialty stores. My wife and I dug through the rack and found one that is just my size and fits my price range of super cheap, $13.99 US dollars.

The futures so bright I gotta wear shades...

Since I have started taking the Inderal I am having some trouble with bright lights. It is almost as if I am reading everything on pure white paper and my eyes will not focus. I have been having to wear my sunglasses when I normally would not have to and that sucks, have you ever tried to watch TV with sunglasses on?

It does not seem to be listed as one of the side effects on the inderal but I have found it as one on several generic "Beta Blocker" sites and Inderal is a beta blocker. Right now it is not something I am going to worry about provided it does not get worse.

I look forward to the day they figure something out for those of us with arachnoiditis and other similar CNS inuries. Not having to take a pill for this, that and the other thing is something I look forward too, as I am sure my family does.

I just found out that a very good friend was seriously wounded while he was in Iraq. Apparently he was driving down a road in the Baghdad area and his vehicle was hit by an IED which blew his vehicle in to the air. Had he not been in an armored HMMWV and had his driver not reacted the way he did it is possible that my friend would have been killed rather then wounded.

He has been home from Iraq for a few months now and tonight was the first chance I had to stop and talk for more then 5 minutes. It was nice to sit on his porch and just talk for awhile, something we had not done in 3 years or so. When I was running the brewery he used to come in all the time since he worked next door and we would sit and have a pint or two and shoot the breeze.

I am glad that he did make it home but at the same time I am very saddened by the fact that many of my brothers and sisters will not be coming home.

Just another day...

Not much going on today. Since the oldest is done with school for the year there was no running to and from school or trying to schedule appointments between those times. I am looking forward to a summer of relaxing and not having to be on a schedule.

Today was one of those rare days where the back has been ok. So far only one episode of breakthrough pain but then again today is the day we upped the primary pain meds from 60mg a day to 80mg so I am sure that had something to do with it. Of course that also means I need to get used to the new dose as it made me very tired. Right after taking it I was ready to go back to bed and sleep the day away, so I did.

Doctors visit...

My visit to the doctor today went VERY WELL!!!

We talked about how I have been feeling and then discussed what might be causing some of the problems. When you are working with pain management you really need to go for the whole person concept meaning that other forces can affect your pain level, things like personal, financial, mental health and so on. Obviously outside stresses can have an effect on the pain level so helping to keep them all in check can really be a big help. Some problems such as financial ones cause stress and that can be treated with anti-depressants and when you feel more comfortable and relaxed you are better able to control your pain. You also might find that with the drugs your ability to think and reason are a bit clearer in regards to the outside problem causing the stress, allowing you to find a solution.

Anyway, we talked about my sleeping problem and I told him that I thought the pain was the biggest factor in not sleeping well. I have the lidocaine patches but was told to wear them for only 12 hours at a time but finding the right 12 hours has been difficult. He told me to go ahead and wear it for 18 hours and put it on an hour or so prior to racking out. The issue before was that if I wore it at night I would sleep better but without the patch during the day there is no way I would be able to keep up with the boys. Since I can now wear it for another 6 hours we kill 2 birds with 1 stone. If I put it on right before bed time (10ish) I can wear it until 4pm the next day. That gets me through both of the tough times when I really need it so I am happy about that.

We also upped the dose of my primary pain killer. While the dose is doubled he did reduce the number of times a day I will take it. I was on 60mg a day before with 3 pills but now it will be 80mg a day with 2 pills, so it will be interesting to see how it works out.

We also talked about my headaches and the fact that Relpax is $5 per pill, way more then I can really afford right now (that's about $150-275 per month depending on the headaches). He was not sure about what else he might have for me but then decided to put me on Inderal which is a beta blocker but also has great migraine fighting ability and he also filled a prescription for Midrin, which I have had before, for the headaches. I was even happier when I filled them both for $20, rather then $40 per 8 pills like before.

As I was leaving the office I saw a flyer for a pain management study they are conducting on Fentanyl. The drug is already approved for use in humans but they are working on a new delivery method and that means they need FDA approval. The study will provide me with the medication for the pain as well as $50 per visit (16 total visits over 1 year) and a chance to really be part of something that is very worthwhile. I am also glad that since they will be providing the meds for the pain (this study is for breakthrough pain) I will be able to save about $60 a month on the meds I am currently using for breakthrough. Edit: The drug I will be testing is an oral form of Fentanyl which as I understand it is widely used in Duragesic patches.

I hate arachnoiditis...

I did not feel like doing that much today and that is exactly what I did. This is one of those days where I truly hate having arachnoiditis. Nothing especially went wrong and the day was not so bad but every now and then I just get tired of being in pain. The look in peoples faces as they wonder why this otherwise perfectly healthy looking 30 something is hobbling through the parking lot and aisles of the stores. Somedays it just sucks, thankfully those days are not often. Maybe I should fly to Canada and go fishing with Leo for an afternoon.

My back and foot have been burning for some time and I really did not feel like doing much. I did however traipse through the grocery store since we needed to go shopping, all the cupboards were bare and I had been out of Smore's Pop-Tarts for 3 days. Thankfully the store was not full and I did not have to watch out for all the silver haired daredevils. You know the ones who believe that since they are older then dirt they automatically have the right of way. We made our trip as quick as possible and were home in time for lunch and the youngest's nap.

I spent some time in the chair just vegging since my back was screaming "I hate you" since early this morning. I figure it is due in part to the horrible sleep I have been getting. Between my own problem sleeping and my youngest one snapping awake at 3am I did not get much sleep so on top of the back I was a walking zombie for most of the day.

We also got rid of the dog tonight. We adopted him several months ago and would love to keep him but he also has a problem with being alone. If we left him alone for even just 20 minutes he would tear the house apart and when we are home he would take food off the counters, tear the upstairs apart and generally just act like a pain in the butt. We had adopted the dog as part of a rescue, since all our animals are rescues, we were able to get him back to the rescue where they will work on getting him a new home. They at least now know he is not a single pet, he needs to have a companion with him or they will have some issues.

Sorry to see him go but I cannot afford for him to keep tearing stuff apart. Today was the final straw as while we were shopping he not only tore into the trash and dragged it all over the house he also destroyed my youngest sons wooden stacking blocks that we had to special order. The dog actually had to go in to the closet and take them out to chew on them so it was not like we left one out and he got to it.

My back is killing me right now, throbbing and there is no position that really seems comfortable. Maybe it is my being so tired that is affecting it so I am going to turn out the lights, open a window since it is so cool outside and then just veg out for the evening.

I do have a doctors appointment tomorrow so I will have to make sure I get my list together to discuss with him. Hopefully he will be able to give me something for those odd nights when I cannot sleep.

That's a load off...

I just got back from picking up the car from the repair shop and have to say that I am happy to have one less thing to worry about right now.

The car looks good and seemed to drive well but it will take me a few days to get the feel for it again. They had to replace all the tires which saved me about $750 as they would have had to been replaced in the next year anyway, and they also had to replace the rear window. Apparently the seal was damaged and it is not something that can be replaced without doing the whole window. So for a $50 gasket they had to put in a $665 window.

Anyway, it is back and it is nice to know that my insurance company supplies a lifetime warranty on all the repairs made since we used their preferred auto body shop. The shop that did the work as well as the company that did the paint job supply a limited warranty (3 years) on the work they have done.

After 3 weeks of dealing with the insurance company it is nice to finally have the bulk of the problem taken care of. Now all I have to do is get them to replce the car seat that was damaged and we are good to go.

Found another one...

Well I have stumbled on to Blogger living with arachnoiditis. I have not had a chance to go through all the postings on the blog though so I will have to post a part II later on this evening once I have had a chance.