Six Years

Today is my wife's and my anniversary.

Hard to believe it has been 6 years already as it only seems like 5 minutes, under water....

Sick!

Well last night Colm starting vomiting out of the blue and has very bad diarrhea so he spent today trying to get him to eat toast and drink pedialyte. He seems to be doing better but he fell asleep for the evening at 6pm so it is going to be an early morning.

Now I am feeling whatever he had and am myself running 102 right now. Thankfully he was only running a slight fever last night and was mostly normal today in that respect. I hate it when my poor guy is sick. It is so rare, this is only the 2nd time I can think of where it came out of the blue and of course he did not vomit until after he drank the fruit punch. Red puke on light blue carpet is always fun. Thankfully we have a steam cleaner.

I am going to hit the hay as I have taken my sleeping pill but not before text messaging Deb to bring me home something to eat. Sadly the kitchen at work is closed because I was looking forward to some pasta with meatballs or perhaps their Gorgonzola sauce I had the other day. Yum!

I will be back in the morning.

How can one person cause so much misery?

My ex-wife is at it again! She made all the arrangements for my sons travel for the holiday season. She told me (thankfully I save all my emails!) that our half of his travel would be $140 and that she would be sending him home on the 2nd.

Well this morning I get an email from her asking me if I sent the $140 with my son, which I honestly did forget to put in his bag. Not a big deal as they just got back home and my plan was to mail the money order to her. However in her email she goes on to say that she still needs to buy his return ticket home. WHAT THE HELL? He is supposed to be home in less then 1 week and I was told she already bought the ticket, that was one of the requirements for me to let him fly. Now she is saying that if I want, keep the $140 and buy his return ticket home.

I am so pissed off right now that I don't even want to talk to her. I forwarded her copies of the emails she sent me on Dec 6^th & 7^th telling me my half for his tickets would be the $140 and that it included the fees for him traveling by himself on the way home. Of course we all know how she is with the fees for a minor traveling by themselves.

What the frick is wrong with this woman? Why does she feel the constant need to lie to me like this? I hope she realizes that she has seriously jeopardized all future visits with her son. I will be double and triple checking any arrangements she makes and still questioning them as we go along.

Now I need to figure out how to get my son home as there is no way we can afford the plane ticket.

Some Christmas pictures

Here are some pictures from Christmas day.

The first one is my youngest and the look on his face was just to classic.


The next one is my wife holding my youngest nephew, my brothers little boy, while we were at my folks house. She was holding him every chance she got until I reminded her that 1-we agreed that we were not having any more and 2- even if we wanted another one my condition prevents that from happening.



This one is my wife, still holding my nephew, sitting by my dad and opening her present from our sons. This was the Arbonne package that she had been wanting.



And just one more for this iteration, my youngest son, my brother and his little girl. My brother and his daughter (who is VERY much daddy's little girl) were lying down watching "Polar Express" when my youngest decided to join them. Pretty soon they were all dozing off in the middle of the floor.

Christmas Day

So Christmas was a great day. I spent the morning with my family at home watching Colm unwrap his gifts from Santa. We were worried at first that he would not quite understand the concept of unwrapping but after the first one he was all over it. In fact we had to stop him as after he finished with his presents as he went on to try and unwrap the gifts we had for my niece and nephews.

Santa was kind to him, bringing Candyland®, Memory® for kids, crayons, markers, slippers, PJ's and some Play-Do® sets, which he just loves to play with his big brother. At my parents house is where he got some of the best toys a 3 year old can hope for. There Santa left him Tinker Toys® which I have been playing with for the last few days, a handmade wooden dump truck which is really cool, some more PJ's and a huge dinosaur set where you set up the village and then the dinosaur comes rumbling through destroying it. I thought it was funny that he got that as we bought my niece the second piece to the set without knowing what they would be getting at my folks house.

As for me, my plan for my wife's present went well, but I ended up being the one surprised. What I had bought her was some pieces from Arbonne. My sister is an Arbonne director and they had a kit with all the essential pieces on sale for $165. Now I knew that was more then my wife would spend on me, so I told her that I had only spent about $30, "the lie", and figured I would deal with the consequences later on. I knew she really wanted these things and would not buy them on her own, so we did.

The deal was that I would pay my sister a $20 week until I paid here her off but apparently before I was able to start paying her, my mother found out what was going on and paid my sister the whole amount as part of my Christmas present. So I guess the surprise was on me.

I got a kick ass pair of pajamas from my folks but the center piece was a giant butcher block for my kitchen. This thing is a good 3'X3' and 3" thick easily and came on a rolling platform with some shelves and a pull out basket. This is the butcher block that makes other butcher blocks jealous.

Anyway, it was a great day. It was really nice to spend a relaxing day with my family and not have to feel like we were all in competition with each other over who got/gave the biggest present.

Christmas

When I was a kid tonight was as I imagine it was and is for all kids, a tough night to get to sleep. The curiousity of what Santa might bring was far to much to allow you to just fall right into slumber. In 35 years nothing has really changed. I know that Santa does not bring me presents anymore, my wife told me last year, but the ancticipation of my whole family being together for the day, no one having to rush off to give the kids a nap, or run out to work the night shift and so on. A day for everyone to relax at my parents house and just catch up on the year.

My wife, who I truly believe is my angel, worked some long hard hours the last few days to have some extra money to do the Christmas shopping for the boys. I know she must be quite tired from those long days and while I did not have much to give her I did the best that I could. Tonight I made sure that our youngest was asleep by the time she got home. I know she missed the time with him but she wants to wrap his presents tonight as well she needs to still eat her dinner and relax from the last few days. I thought it would be nice to have him in bed and let her just have free run of the house, no kids tearing through the place, free run of the remote for the TV and some quiet time to herself to unwind from a busy week at work.

I am not sure what she had the boys get for me but I kind of had to lie to her about what the boys bought for her. I can't go into much detail here because she might read this after I am asleep but it took some doing and planning between my mother, myself and my sister to pull it off. So that things would not look suspicious I had to have them pick it up for me and pay for it up front and they will have it for her tomorrow when we get to my parents house. Needless to say this is something she VERY MUCH has been wanting and something she really deserves. For everything she has done for us through the years it was one of the few things that I could think of that might express how grateful we are to her. Tomorrow I will explain what it is and why I had to lie, just know that it was not a "bad" lie.

I wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas as well let us not forget that tomorrow also begins Chanukah, so a Happy Chanukah as well.

The ex-wife, part XLCVIII

So we discussed this at length (my wife and I) and we agreed that our son could fly to see his mother for Christmas provided what ever flight he would be on was straight through, no layovers, no stopping or anything like that and that the ticket was for an unaccompanied minor. Paying that extra fee would allow the aircrew to help him as need be and someone would be keeping an eye on him through the flight and then when they landed they would escort him to meet who was picking him up. My ex-wife handled making all the reservations and then I would just send my 1/2 of the cost with our son. When I last spoke with her about it she said she understood and agreed and would take care of it all.

One thing that would be happening is that over Christmas she and her family would be flying from their home to California to spend Christmas with her mother. What she thought would be better is if our son flew straight out to his grandparents house and had a few days with them before she showed up, which I have no problem with at all. In fact I have been trying to get her mother (her dad passed away before we met) to have more time with Edward and have told her several times that she is more then welcome to ask if he can come out and visit during some of his school breaks. I figure my parents get plenty of time with him, she should have the same opportunities.

So far so good right? Not quite.

My ex-wife sends me an email letting me know that she has purchased the ticket for him to fly out to California which is great. She was able to get a good price on the ticket and even better she told me that the airline does not charge a fee for unaccompanied minors, which is even better as that is usually $50 or so and it has to be paid by me when I drop him off. You cannot include it in the ticket price but I have no problem whatsoever paying it as it for my child's safety.

You would think something should have sent a warning off in my head when she told me there was no fee, but I have been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. So yesterday when my wife took our son to the airport to fly I figured all was well and then I got the call from my wife. Apparently the reason there is no fee is because this airline does not consider kids 12 and older as unaccompanied minors. That's right, my ex-wife knew this and instead of telling me the truth or finding an airline that would allow us to pay the fee she lied to me. She understood quite well that if I knew the truth, that they would not watch him, I would have told her find a different flight. So, forsaking out sons safety she just flat out lied to us about it and that PISSED ME OFF.

What's the big deal you ask? Well on the plane itself there really is not one, after all his flight would not be stopping or changing planes. However, he would be flying into one of the busiest airports in the country. One where the terminals are not in the same building as baggage. Not having someone helping him would mean after leaving the plane he would have to find out where to catch a tram to the baggage terminal, then fight through the crowd of people to link up with his luggage and his grandmother. I have no idea what the hell my ex-wife was thinking, or perhaps she wasn't. No big surprise there though.

Now my wife and I sat down with my son and developed a plan long before he took off on what he was to do should he become separated (at that time we thought he would have someone from the airline helping him) or lost. In fact we sent him on the trip with my cell phone so he would be able to call us no matter what and especially if he needed some help. Before he took off my wife told him that once he landed to go to the ticket counter at the gate and request some help and should they not be able to then he was to call me right away.

Meanwhile while he was flying I called the airline and tried to find out what we could do to get him some help on the other end. Of course the people I spoke to all told me the same thing, "This airline does not provide that service and you should have thought about that before you bought your ticket." Of course not one of them seemed sympathetic to the fact that I did not buy the ticket or that he was far to young to be wandering that airport alone but then I spoke with one person who gave me some information that would help. If my former mother in law took the reservation confirmation number and her ID she would be allowed to get a security document that would allow her to get through security and meet our son at the gate. Naturally I called her to let her know, gave her the information and then felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders.

There is no feeling in the world like being completely helpless, sending your child off on a journey like this that for him while exciting could turn quite scary in a heartbeat. I mean a busy airport and a lone pre-teen looking very out of place. That is the making of a missing child story and I cannot for one second comprehend the fact that my ex-wife would put him in that position all over a few freaking dollars. Of course I also learned that from now on there will be either no flying or I will personally verify any tickets she buys before he flies.

My son however picked up on all this and while he was sitting at the airport with my wife he actually asked, "So mom lied again?" The boy is smart, he picks up on this stuff without us having to say a word to him. Of course he still remembers the time he was visiting his mother and against my distinct wishes she flew him from her house to her mothers (unaccompanied)then LIED to me about it. She then told him to lie as well or I would get mad at him. That's right, I would get mad at him. I had asked her to not let him fly alone because he was far too young to go by himself. Instead she told me that they had driven out to see her mother and he had not flown. She got busted when she used the suitcase we had sent him with as a checked bag and then never removed the name tape they affix to the handle. When we saw it we asked him about it, not suspecting anything wrong or perhaps someone else had used it. It took all of 2 seconds for him to breakdown in tears and explain what had happened. That's right, his mother had gone ahead and done whatever she pleased (even though I have custody) and then lied to me and instructed her own son to do the same. ARRRRGH!

Anyway, enough babble on this subject. We were able to jump through some hoops get him squared away. Of course the next time my ex-wife asks if he can fly to save time and I say no she will wonder why....

The birthday boy!

My little guy is 3 years old today! Hard to believe that 3 years ago you came into our family, brightened our day even more then we thought was possible.

Being able to have spent almost every moment so far with you, playing the stay at home dad, has been more rewarding then I could possibly have imagined. The way you smile at me when you are up to something to the way you ask me, "Daddy, did you hear me tell you I love you?", it is enough to warm my heart and make the darkest day bright.

I love you buddy and always will.

FINALLY!

So after countless months of waiting and at least 2 false starts I finally have completed the paperwork to enroll in the pain management drug trials through my pain management doctor. Not sure what took them so long but when I went to my regular appointment this morning I saw the nurse in charge of the patients for the program and asked what was going on.

Now the last time I spoke with her about this she promised my I would be the first person they contacted, and then she took my information to do so. However when I spoke with her this morning I made it in by the skin of my teeth. Apparently they had 1 opening left and I am it. Of course I did mention that she and the doctor had both promised to contact me MUCH sooner!

The intake was fairly painless, including the drawing of blood. I have no problem with needles but you never know how the person using them might be and I have had a few who forget the vein they are drawing from is only so big. They end up going in, out and then into flesh which is quite painful. I also had to give a urine sample, which is the first time in my life, which includes 9 years in the military, I have had to do so and be on drugs to pass it. It was a strange feeling.

If all is going well with the blood and urine workup then they will call me and we will go from there. The study lasts a year and will provide me with the meds for breakthrough pain as well as some cash for each visit.

The one thing that I did get a bit bent about is that for those who have been enrolled in the program for a bit were allowed to receive some of their money in advance to help defray Christmas shopping. Had I been called on time I could have been paid as well and as you all know we could really have used that money for Christmas. Arrrrghhh....

I also get a PDA to bring home to help me keep track of the meds, doses, break through pain and all the other pieces of the study that I need to keep track of for the doctors. The big thing for me is the free pain meds, while it is not all my meds it is one that costs me the maximum co-pay.

I will let everyone know how the study goes!

More snow?

I have been dealing with the freaking cold for the past few days so I have not been keen on being online. It would mean having to get out from under the blankets to type and that's not happening as long as we stay this cold!

We add to the top of the cold the snow. Last week we got 1/2 our annual snowfall in one day. This weekend we repeated that feat but thankfully most of the snow from the previous week had melted. It has been hellish on the roads though and my wife has forbidden me from leaving the house lest I slip as everything is pure ice.

Then we have to deal with the windshield. We were waiting until the weather cleared to get it replaced because it had a small crack. Of course with the freezing cold that small crack is now the entire lower half of the windshield and what would have been an easy task now means involving the insurance company. Thankfully we only have a $100 deductible on the new policy because the estimate has the repair at about $500 or so.

Now that Christmas is at my parents house my wife and I are planning on just sleeping late. Since the oldest is going to be with his mother there is no need to be up early to open gifts. The other 'nice' thing is that our youngest who will be 3 on Wednesday is not all that into gifts, yet. Not to sound cheap but with only a little bit of money for Christmas for everyone we have to plan everything. I have 2 nephews and a niece we have to buy for as well as my sons.

My parents though did call the other day and tell me I would be in a huge pile if I bought them anything. They know money is tight but how am I supposed to feel about that? Here I am at 35 feeling like I am 10 again, no money and still need to buy mom and dad something nice. Top that off with Christmas day is my fathers birthday.

Being that is the way things are right now I have come up with something else. It will let me give them something nice and not have to spend a ton of money, right now anyway. We are making a calendar for my parents, each month will have a picture of my family and then I will make sure all the important dates are noted. We will also include a day each month where we will do something for my parents, whether that be come down and make them breakfast/lunch/dinner, or take them out etc... I can make the calendar online and print it to the local Kinko's for about $20. Of course they then have a "family day" each month that we will plan. I will add some stuff like going to the zoo, maybe a family movie day or amusement park or something. I still need to figure out something for dad's birthday though.

edit: I love Bloggers dictionary. It generally has some funny assed suggestions for words it does not already have in it's memory, which by the way includes the words Blog and Blogger. You would think that a company called Blogger would include itself in the online dictionary. It also thinks my sons name is Colon and Kinko's should be Kinkajou.

To tired to blog?

The pain this morning was more then I was willing to deal with for an hour and change ride to the doctor. Since we have a Taurus there is not much leg room for the passenger so try to adjust the seat to get in a comfortable position would have been near impossible with my back the way it was. Of course the doctor wanted me to come in and see him instead of the nurse so it all it worked out as he did not have any appointments available this morning so we rescheduled the visit. Fine by me, I was really not in the mood to sit in the car that freaking long. While it is normally 45 minutes or so to the doctor on a normal visit, this morning would have been in rush hour on the business loop through the city. No thanks!

I am looking forward to climbing in to bed tonight. The extra meds are kicking my butt for the last few days, I did not even need my sleeping meds last night. I crawled into bed and was out by 10:30.

Flare ups are no fun...

I had a MAJOR flare up this morning that has sidelined me and probably will for a few days. I mean this was shear pain and spread across my entire back from my waist all the way through my shoulder blades and even though I took a maximum dose off all my pain meds I was still hurting.

The only way I can really describe a flare up for those who do no know is imagine all your muscles going into a tight spasm at once, and then not releasing. The problem starts because the muscles are doing more work then they should, making up for skeletal deficiencies caused by injuries or diseases. For me that happens because of the degenerative disc disease, the herniated discs, spondylolisis and spondylolisthesis. The muscles basically become tired and start to spasm, sometimes it is not so bad and a quick dose of a muscle relaxer helps get you through the bout other times like today they won't even touch it.

I am a bit ticked with the doctors office about this as well. Thankfully I see them on Wednesday and will discuss this with the doctor as I did not get to talk with him today. What happened is I called and left a message about what was going on and from there they usually have the nurse call you back to talk a bit about your symptoms before they decide what they want you to do.

Well the nurse called and told me that they would 1-call in a prescription for a muscle relaxer and then 2-they wanted me to come in today or tomorrow instead of waiting until Wednesday. They then put me on hold and never came back to the phone. I had to call back a few times and never got to speak to anyone, they just kept putting me through to the voicemail and no one returned my call.

Well if I am supposed to come in to see the doctor early wouldn't it be nice for someone to let me know what time they would like me to be there??? As well they called in a prescription for a muscle relaxer that I explained to the nurse does not work for me, skelaxin. I tried to explain that to her but that is when she asked me to hold while she checked on it and then never came back to the line. Frustrating indeed because the whole time I have been in pain and unable to do anything about it other then try to get through to a live person when I called.

Even more frustrating is that today was my wife's day off. I could have been down there if they had the time to squeeze me in but now if they want me to come in tomorrow I have no way of making it down there before my regular appointment. I will try to call them in the morning and see if they will do something because this stuff they called in for me is not doing the trick. Thankfully flare ups like this do not happen often.

C'est la vie.

I did however get to spend the entire day lying in bed. Oh boy! I am glad though that I have the adjustable bed, it made the pain a bit more tolerable being able to adjust my legs and head into positions that took a lot of the stress off my back. After that I just kept my pain meds close by and took the maximum doses as soon as it was time for them and then just dozed off for an hour or so each time. Now that it is bed time though I fear that I will be up until the wee hours, unable to get a real nights rest and perhaps adding to the stress which means the muscles will not release anytime soon and I will be in the same boat tomorrow.

Other then that I just have not been in much of a mood to be on the computer for the last few days. One of those things that happens I guess. Most of the time I can't get away from the thing, it is constantly on so much that my youngest is always asking me, "Daddy are you going to check your email?" Of course that gave me an idea today. I am going to set up an email account for him and just send him short stories that I write or find and let him learn how to use the computer a bit more as well perhaps help his reading a bit more. If he is excited about checking his email to see what he as received he would want to read it as well. I don't know, just an idea I had. He is a super smart kid, his vocabulary grows everyday and the way he uses it is just amazing. I love to hear him talking, especially with his brother. They are like peas in a pod and Colm will just babble on when Edward is around him.

Well it is time to take some sleepind meds and try to get a good nights sleep. Perhaps tomorrow when I am a bit more coherent I will write a bit more about the boys.

Faith...

I don't talk about my Religion a lot, but I think that is because I find Religion to be a somewhat personal topic. However this evening I was reading a magazine that was lying around the house and they had an article, a brief one, on Pope Benedict XVI that really just pissed me off.

I am Catholic, born and raised on Long Island. I spent more then several years serving as an altar boy and regardless of all these claims of sexual abuse by Priests, I personally never saw it or heard of it happening. But that is not the issue I am writing about this evening it is the new Pope's affinity for expensive clothing and accoutrements.

I am curious as to what happened to the vows of poverty a Priest must accept when ordined? I know I have never seen a local Priest, heck not even a Bishop or a Cardinal wearing the expensive clothes Pope Benedict XVI has been sporting. Not even the Priest I knew who came from a quite wealthy family, he was as humble if not perhaps more so then the rest that lived in the Rectory.

The Pope's love for high fashion from those butt ugly pair of red Prada shoes and expensive sunglasses to the custom Gucci bags the Pope resembles more of a fashion icon then the head of the Catholic church. He even dismissed the long standing Vatican Tailor (since 1792) instead bringing his own designer with him.

Does Pope get a special dispensation from that specfic vow? I would expect that the Pope of our church should be setting the example for all our Priests and Nuns, living the most humble way possible for all the world to see. That he would instead of spending church money on lavish wardrobes perhaps allow that money to go to much more worthy causes. Does he perhaps believe that God wishes for him to dress in this manner? That somehow his position as the Pope requires him to have special favor and ignore those vows he took with his brother on June 29, 1951.

I believe in my religion, strongly. Enough that when I was getting married it was important to me to find a fellow Catholic. Someone who would share my views on Religion and raise our children with those views. We send our kids to Catholic school, even though we do not have a lot of money we find ways to make sure they can go. And while I am tightening the belts here at home, trying to be the best Catholic that I can, raising my children to be the best they can, sacrificing for the good of our faith, our Pope struts down the punti of the Vatican wearing my monthly house payment on his feet.

I just don't get it.

Who the heck is this guy?

It is a winter wonderland here with close to 10" of snow across most of the area but we are currently at -1°fahrenheit which is a bit better then the over night low of -8°. Of course this is the exact opposite of what happens in about 6 months from now when we are 90°'s and 100% humidity and I am hobbling around.

The last few days have been tough to get online or even get the computer as my son has been home from school and my wife has been off from work. I have not had my usual just me and Colm time and while I don't mind sharing the computer my wife was hogging it. Of course she used the premise that she was fine tuning her resume (more on that later on) but after about an hour I became suspicious and peeked over to see her playing a game. Oh, ok I see how this is going to be. It has been literally a good 2 days since I have been able to get on the computer let alone online.

My aunt was unable to come up for dinner the other night due to the weather. While we were still getting a good amount of snow causing a lot of problems on the road, including a 17 car accident involving 4 semi tractor trailers just down the road from my house. Of course that same spot has been the scene of many similar accidents through the years when we have snow like this. You figure the state would figure that out and do something to mitigate if not flat out prevent them from continuing to occur. Since there were so many problems on area roads/freeways they started to shut down some of the roads coming up North including the main road coming from my parents house to my house.

My aunt was able to make it out yesterday afternoon for a small bit to see us. I wish we had more time to sit and visit but she needed to get out to my sisters house for dinner and then her flight was heading back to Long Island at 4 this morning (WAY TO EARLY!).

Of course the boys were all to anxious to show off for her, both vying for her attention in their own way. My oldest pulling out his little kit bag of magic tricks and the youngest turning on the charm and continually asking to be hugged and kissed. Who can resist a toddler saying, "I need a big hug and kiss"? She was going in circles with them and trying to make sure they both got their fair share of attention.

However the piece de resistance was when one of my mothers associates husband invited himself in for tea. That's right, just came on in, took off his shoes and made himself at home.

My mother has a business associate who lives in my town and had borrowed a few items. Instead of having her drive all the way back to my mothers house to return them she let her know she would be here and that she could just drop them off in her mini-van during the lunch hour.

Well this woman sent her husband to run the task and while I have met him previously, that was about a year ago at my mothers house and was just in passing. A very brief introduction and nothing since then. However after he unloaded the car he just made his way back inside and grabbed himself a cup of tea like he was an old friend.

Perhaps if this had not been the only time in almost 10 years I have had to visit with my Aunt I would not be so critical but it was so I am. I was astounded at his lack of social awareness as well as the fact that he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was intruding on our day.

My back is killing me tonight. I spent most of the evening trying to "winterize" the back room as it has been FREEZING cold in that room and is killing me when it comes to the electric and gas bills. What changed from last year I don't know but I think I fixed the largest problem.

Where the back sliding glass doors are there was a good 1/2" gap between the tiles and the door where it looks like the mortar has come up and the wind was just whipping in through there. I bought a can of that expanding foam and filled the cracks in at the bottom and then up the side of the door where it joins the frame of the house. I can already feel a major difference in the room and hope it will stay that way. I just need to get a razor and trim back where it expanded past the edges or risk having the moron dog try and eat it again.

My aunt is in town and will be at our house tomorrow so I am off like a busy little bee to get everything ready for tomorrow.

A blog well worth reading

As many of you know I come from a very Military background. A former soldier as well as a brat growing up meant that I spent the better part of my first 30 years in/around the Army and to this day I still love all things Military. I spend a good deal of my time on Military blogs and bulletin boards. Not trying to relive the days gone by or anything like that, just trying to keep abreast of the happenings in the Military world.

As bloggers know, you read one blog and then click through to another and from there another. While cruising the blogsphere this evening I found one blog that is a must read but I will warn you that you will find yourself with tears in your eyes. This blog ,Learning To Live, is the daily life of a woman, Heidi, who lost her husband CPT Sean Sims in Fallujah in November 2004.

Rest In Peace CPT Sims.

Just some mindless jabber...

While other things might not be going so well around here I at least have a few things to look forward to.
1- My wife and family, they are always there for me.
2- My trusty laptop and recliner.
3- The upcoming season of The Shield! I have not missed an episode since it first came on the air in 2002 and is now on it's 5th season starting January 10th.

I know, some people hate it, call it lame but it actually has some very good sub plots that keep you wanting to watch to see what happens next. Very few shows have the ability to keep it up season after season and the only thing that really sucks about this show is that sooner or later it will have to end unlike ER which seems to just keep snowballing into oblivion. Hard to believe my wife and I used to watch that show almost ten years ago. Where has the time gone???

I hate that my wife has to work so hard for all of us. I wish I could figure out some way to get back to school and finish those last 30 or so hours to change my major to information systems. Get a bit more background in programming and perhaps start doing something small from home. While working in an office setting will probably never work for me as I don't know many employers who will let you sit/stand/laydown as need be every 30 minutes or so for the pain, I could perhaps start a small business writing code for local companies. While we are a small town we have some of areas largest employers as well as a ton of mom and pop businesses. Many of them need the applications for running their companies but they can't afford to hire a full time programmer and an off the shelf package does not suit their needs.

Anyway, seeing her have to work as much as she does bothers me. I know I have talked about this before, but until things change I will keep talking about it. I also need to be better about letting her know how I feel. I do tell her that I am sorry she has to work like she does and that I feel it is my fault but apparently I am not very good about giving her compliments. Then again I have never been very good about that or even expressing my feelings in general. Perhaps that was one of the real reasons behind starting this blog. With a certain degree of anonymity we tend to reveal a bit more about ourselves then normally.

Things here are going well but they could always be better. By better I mean we have our health and possibly a much better job for my wife. We both come from a restaurant background and she has been working a part time job at one a few night a week. Well the other night the area manager approached her about perhaps joining their management team. She has been a manager for a large national chain and has the background for this type of work as well she very much enjoys being in that business. While it is not a guaranteed thing just yet should she get the position the pay would be almost 25% more then she was making in her last management position.

She loved that company but the store she worked at was so short handed for so long that she was working 15 hour days 6 days a week as well they were keeping her on the closing shift for months on end even though all the other managers were rotating shifts. When she asked about why that was she was told that she was the only one who lived in the same town as the restaurant. Everyone else had to drive 30-45 minutes to work and driving that at the wee hours of the morning is dangerous.

Now we do not disagree with that point at all but everyone knew that when they took the job, it goes with the business. When she was working at a store 45 minutes from out house she was not given special treatment and she should not/would not expect it. She liked the job and the company but when dealing with crap like that it is hard to not want to leave. Top off the hours situation with the fact that a bonus schedule was part of the compensation package but not once in the close to 2 years she was in that position did they receive one. They were always given some excuse about why or how they "just missed it" but they never received a single dime in a bonus.

Since they are offering her a chance to move into management she is now working solely at the restaurant. The job for the state was a good one in terms of hours worked and time off but the pay was less then she could make waiting tables for the same time period. Since we are so short money right now we have to go where it is at and that is the restaurant. While it means she is back to working nights again that is where the best money is made. We would prefer a 9-5 job you really just won't find one in the restaurant business.

Of course there is another bright spot in the days and weeks ahead. My aunt, who I have not seen in a few years and before that it was a good 10 years, will be in town for the next week. She is flying back from Long Island with my sister after they spent this past few days at some convention they got for reading some book. Knowing both of them it was some self healing, new age kind of thing. Not my cup of tea but they seem to like it.

Anyway, while she is in town she will be coming to our house this Wednesday to spend the day and tour our fair Burg. She has been to town before but that was for my sisters wedding so there was a lot of hustle and bustle and very little time to do much site seeing. I thought perhaps we would do a little bit of site seeing, maybe go down to the river where they have been spotting the Bald Eagles in the past few weeks, and then back to the house for dinner. Not sure what I might make yet as my Aunt is either a strict vegetarian or a vegan so I need to find out before we start cooking.

Well it is 10pm and my youngest is still wide awake and raring to go so I think I am going to give him some chocolate milk and have him sit down with me for awhile. That usually works to help calm him down and get him to bed.

Thanks to all of you, especially Mare, Bridget and Saija for being here for me. There are many more of you who I can thank and I will do so over the net few days. The emails and phone calls have helped my sanity far more then you might know.

The weekend it here!

Sorry I have not been keeping up with this for the last few days. I have been fighting off this cold which seems to be more then I thought it was, more like a respiratory infection and I have been dealing with what is chunks of phlegm. I found Robitussen CF has no alcohol or anything like that in it so I can take it with my other meds.

Nothing really new here. Just trying to figure out how to get through Christmas with everything we have going on between know and then. My aunt will be here this week from Long Island, then we have 4 birthdays one on December 20, my youngest sons is the 21st, my dad is Christmas Day and my brother in law is the 26th and then New Years eve is my wife's and my anniversary. While each is easily manageable when you put it all together within that time frame it becomes a force to be reckoned with.

The back is ok, the cold weather we have been dealing with though sucks. The colder it gets the more I can feel the pain. Oddly enough this is the second fall/winter where when it has been as cold as it is that I swear I can feel the screws and rods in my back. Almost like they have absorbed the coldness and I can feel the cold metal pressing up against the muscles surrounding them. It does not hurt but it is quite odd. If you have ever grabbed a cold railing it is much like that only from the inside.

The pain that has been creeping up my back seems to have stopped, for know, at about the middle of the back. I was hoping that the numbness that came with it would go away even if just for a bit but it is still there. The good news is that I have now been numb long enough that I really do not notice it as much as when it started going numb. Yes, that does not make any sense, LOL!

I have been on medication for the numbness before, generally an anti-seizure med like Neurontin but I found that it had serious side effects. In fact I found out some very interesting information about Neurontin while I was looking up more information about it on the web. While I was on it I would become either very depressed or very angry with no real reasoning, complete mood swings that I did not have before.

Those experiences with that one medication have made me quite leary of taking any other kinds of anti-seizure medications unless absolutely needed. Of course I then found out that Neurontin is one of the largest drugs prescribed for what is called "off label" prescriptions, or non-FDA approved applications. Neurontin has been the subject of a multi-million dollar class action suit in which it ended up shelling out $430 million dollars to settle. The pathetic thing is that they paid such a large sum but it was a drop in the bucket compared to the close to $3billion they made annually off it's sales.

So for me that means unless they have some other way of dealing with the numbness I am stuck with it.